Just 30

Now imagine this... some day you feel really dazed and kind of confused, but you don’t know why, then after so many times rolling up and down your room a strange pain in the back of your head is moving upper and upper until it stops in your nose and after that your ears, mouth and nose starts bleeding; then you faint at the middle of nowhere in your house. Your father found you and took you into the hospital and there a doctor came out and said you just have like 7 or 6 years to complete your life. What would you do?

Well there was this guy who actually lives this, his name was Allan. He had a normal life before this, he had really good grades and he had a nice girlfriend who lived far away from him. His girlfriend was named Frida and she was being saved by Allan avoiding the fact that she may commit suicide but she made it at the same day the death notice came to him. Just like nothing the semi-perfect life he was having seemed to disappear.

Talking about love, he was having the worst moment in his romantic life, some girls just make him feel like shit, some others told him thing a man may take as a reason to kill themselves. He had been making friends and those friends never knew he was going to die soon, but some of them always knew about the girls he liked or even at that age loved. I may describe him as a guy who always felt the protector of those girls who needed love, but even loving someone he never receive the same love he send. From all of those girls just one was the one that no one know he love her so much he can die for her, his entire life since he was 15 he started loved her, strange but he never told her that he loved her so much, he was just too shy to tell her his heart belong to her, yes to that beautiful and strange girl named Ashes, I still think he took that secret to his grave.

A problem between Ashes and Allan was that she never made anything to hurt him, she even was a nice and lovely person with him, nice enough they had some romantic situations in some time in Allan´s life; Allan never said anything because of two things the first is that after getting so many scars he don´t wanted another one, he became a fearly boy and the other was that Ashes loved another boy and Allan knew it. He suffered so much because of that but a strange thing in all of this is that Allan was garbage in this world but he never thought even a little in suicide, never.

At 15, Allan was having a surgery in order to give him some few years more of life, when the doctor came out again, he just heard "you will have gone at 30". a sad person or a emo may be become sad, but Allan took advantage of that and he become happier and thought a while: "I can live enough to accomplish some goals like finish college and work some few years more, he wanted to be a medic, I can taste drinks and smokes, before I´m gone, and also may be god is going to be good with me and he will let me hear Ashes saying - I love you too-."

He never wanted something impossible he just wanted to have Ashes some few years in his life, loving her and enjoying the feeling of protecting and repairing the life of Ashes, but sometimes destiny is not a good thing for some humans. He never wanted to have Children because he thought that a father may stay with his son more than just a few years, he always answer he don’t want to have any sons any daughters, he don’t want to make a human suffer his entire life.

I saw him in his last days, and I remember he has holding Ashes’ hand and he gave her a pack of cards that at the end of all said: "Ashes you are the woman I would liked to spent my entire life with, I think I made it that way just as a friend not as a lover, your life still goes on and be sure I will wait for you in heaven, but please understand that I just can reach 30, just 30, and whit all the force I have left I can tell you that I love you". After Ashes read that she turn his crying eyes to Allan, and cried "I love you too", But it was too late Allan was gone by that time.

Sometimes saying what we really feel for someone may save his entire and short life, but also we need to understand that sometimes life is longer enough for some specific reasons.